Today Was A Victory Over My Former Self

Miyamoto Musashi speaks about every day being a challenge and an opportunity to grow. He speaks of slowly becoming better in all areas of life – especially areas of weakness.

For today to be a victory over your former self.

Today was one of those days.

Today was challenging

You don’t always have to be in a gym to push yourself to new limits – either physically or mentally.

Today I won a mental warfare inside my head.

Today I won a physical challenge that my body pleaded me to stop.

Today was a victory.

The universe spoke to me in a powerful way today. I was presented with an opportunity in which I was able to showcase to myself how much I have grown over the past year. How far I have come. The positive change that all my energy and focus has accumulated to.

Last night my radiator hose blew and I was on the other side of Denver – it was also 8:45pm and the sun was all but gone and there was no way I could work on the truck – I could tell that the lower radiator hose blew but obviously couldn’t do anything that late. So, a good hearted friend gave me a ride all the way back across town and dropped me off at home - I didn’t even have to ask. Needless to say, I was pretty stressed out last night. I had an appointment with a client at 5:30am, mom was leaving town for work, I had to be to work at 11:30am, and my truck was broken down on the other side of Denver. I eventually fell asleep a little after midnight only to wake back up at 4am – I’m a slow riser and I needed to be on point for my client.

We trained at 5:30am – I was exhausted. I worked out at 6:30am – That was the 2nd mental battle of the day. I felt great an hour later when I completed a solid workout, had a great pump, and knew that I would be better for it.

So I got home, I called every car rental place near me and every-single-damn-car was rented. Apparently there is a convention in town.

So, I called the auto shop across the street from where my Jeep was and got an estimate. $180 was their estimate. I was so tempted to pay someone else to handle the headache and suffer the financial blow. But first-things-first, I have to get to work.

At this point, my former self from a short year ago would have played the victim card. The woe is me card. I would have been angry. Worked up. And just overall not handling this situation so good.

I got ready for work, prepped all my food for the day, and I hopped on my mountain bike and biked my ass the 15 miles to work – up the huge hills and all. That a was a truly enjoyable mental and physical challenge.

I got to work with 15 minutes to spare.

I finally got off work a little after 4 and to say the least – I was dead tired. I was drained. Exhausted. I was ready to call it quits. To give up. I called all the car rental places again – still nothing. I tempted calling GEICO and having the truck towed to the car service place and paying them to fix it.

But then, then it happened.

Yet again, another mental victory. This time more important and bigger than before. Typically, I would have paid my way out of this. Whatever I had to do to no longer deal with this headache.

Instead, I told myself to man-the-fuck-up and I biked up another 2 miles and went and bought another hose and then biked back across Denver another 8 miles and finally made it to my truck. It had begun to rain on me and all I could think about was if I would be successful in fixing my truck – but I held belief in my ability to overcome this obstacle and come out on top.

I spent about 20minutes dismantling the old, dried out, and decrepit hose and replacing it with my new hose.

I rode back down to the gas station on two separate occasions to buy more anti-freeze – my truck was literally empty.

I can now happily say that I drove my truck home with no issues.

I realize this probably isn’t that significant for a lot of people but for me this was a big milestone. For starters, I have never worked on a car before owning my Jeep. So, I’ve only been doing small projects for the last few months. I also haven’t been able to work-out my legs in the last 4 months and today was more than a brutal workout on them.

The Kenny from a year ago would have called out of work rather than bike 15 miles. My former self would have rather suffered the financial blow and paid someone else to fix my problem. I would have not taken ownership to the situation. And I would have been a victim.

I wouldn’t have seen this as an opportunity to learn and grow. I wouldn’t have survived in the struggle.

Long story short, it’s all about perspective.

Today also marks my 1-year anniversary of being a Colorado resident and in 48 minutes it will mark me being sober from alcohol for a year.

The universe was trying to show me how far I have come. How much I have learned. How much I have grown. How much sense of self I have gained.

More importantly the universe was allowing me to show to myself how strong I am.

The universe speaks to all of us – you just have to be willing to listen.

If I didn’t not take direct control and action to changing my thought patterns and perceptions I wouldn’t be where I am at right now. I’d still be stranded. Possibly not have a job. I’d definitely be feeling sorry for myself and asking why.

Your mindset is everything.

Change your mind and change your life.

You’re capable of great things – you just have to believe in yourself.

Be happy.

Be thankful.

 Look at life, no matter what happens, as an opportunity to learn and grow.

And Most importantly

Give love.

““...the sea's only gifts are harsh blows and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head...” – Primo Levi